FATs (Frequently Asked Things)


So, what are you doing about Covid-19?

I take the Covid-19 pandemic seriously. In fact, I’m pretty sure I had it in December of last year. (Trust me when I say it’s not ‘just a flu’.)

Unfortunately, we are officially still in a pandemic, regardless of the misinformation out there saying or implying otherwise. That means that as a masseur I have to be extra careful when providing my services from here on in.

So I will be taking clients again, but with a few minor restrictions.

I generally only schedule one or two sessions a day when I’m busy, not back to back. That gives me time to thoroughly clean my space between sessions.

Keeping the room and linens clean was standard practice to begin with. But now I have two new rules, 1. You must wear your own face mask during the massage, and 2. Before the massage you have to take a shower.

The mask requirement is non negotiable. And I generally ask my clients to arrive freshly showered anyway, so that’s not a big change.

I also have plenty of hand sanitizer handy as an extra precaution.

International studies have long established that you can have Covid-19 and be asymptomatic. (Meaning you have no symptoms but can pass the virus along regardless.) Recent news reports have questioned this, but the evidence is stacked up against the skeptics.

In LA County, we are likely to see a noticeable surge in Covid-19. So be careful.

Updated 6-8-2020

What is ‘Connective Touch’ relaxation massage?: 

With a connective touch massage, the therapists hands are constantly on your body. This constant connection is comforting to the body systems and lulls you into very deep relaxation. I switch it up with techniques like cranial sacral and Polynesian LomiLomi, but my touch rarely leaves you.

With that said, my massage is a fusion of Swedish and Deep Tissue, so when you get on the table with me YOU WILL FEEL IT. This isn’t a skin polish, this is an honest to goodness massage with an intent to relax and heal you.

What do you mean when you state that your rate is ‘DONATION BASED’?

When you pay me for the massage I actually consider it a donation that goes toward my monthly living expenses. I offer massage for what’s essentially full-time so I can continue my education and expand my knowledge in the alternative health care field.

So as I help you, you’re helping me!

Why do you only work on men?:

It’s an energy thing mainly. I fill the niche for men who prefer the touch of other men for bodywork whether they be straight or gay, or somewhere in-between.

I’m over in Century City, you up to meet me out there?:

Incalls only right now. My location is in Glendale, a city in Los Angeles County, CA. It is in the San Fernando valley, about 20 mins from DTLA and Burbank.  This is a relatively quiet residential nook near The Glendale Galleria and The Americana. There is plenty of street parking and my space is very chill, relaxed and clean.

What are your hours typically?:

My normal hours for new clients are between 10am to 7pm with an appointment, with last massage starting at 7pm. Check out my rate page for an up to date breakdown of my hours.

I’ve tried scheduling with you for a Friday afternoon massage but you’re booked, you’re a busy guy huh?

In all honesty, I’m not that busy. What happens is, many clients will wait until the very last minute to reach out to me for a massage. And when this happens I’ll generally get 10 requests for a massage at the same time.

Obviously I can’t massage everyone at the same time, so for the 9 I have to say I’m booked. Which generally means I’m booked for THAT TIME, not other times.

I’m concerned about privacy, I don’t want everyone to know I’m getting a massage from another man. Can you assure discretion?:

Absolutely. I take the discretion of my clients very seriously and would never share the details of our session with anyone. I worked in the Medical Insurance industry so I have a high standard for maintaining my client’s privacy.

Then why do you ask for a photo or a link to social media accounts for new clients?:

It’s for my security actually. I have had people accuse me of vetting my massage clients for their ‘hotness’ by asking for a photo. That’s not the case though.

I had three very bad experiences with anonymous clients in the past. They were so bad that I questioned whether or not to continue practicing massage. So I found that simply asking for a photo or social media link helps screen out shady folk.

Unfortunately that also means I have to pass on guys that might have really good reasons of their own for remaining somewhat anonymous. It’s nothing personal.

So what happens before a massage?:

I open the session chatting with you about your areas of concern. Energy is very important and I want you to be comfortable during the session. So I sit you down and ask you about your day, how you’re feeling, and what parts of your body are sore.

It’s much easier working on you if I know what you’re feeling before hand. I don’t consider our initial chat as part of your time, so there’s absolutely no reason to rush. It’s here we discuss boundaries you might have for the session.

I’ve spent the day gutting fish and running a marathon, is it okay if I show up right after?:

Please shower before the massage session.  A shower is available on request.

I have a sensitivity to certain oils, detergents and aromas. Could you not use essential oils or the like during my session?:

No problem, I don’t use essential oils during the session. (I tried a few times and quit when a client commented that it smelt like a bushel of lavender ‘shat’ on his face.)

I always wash my cotton flannel sheets in unscented, hypoallergenic soap after each session. The massage room will also have a slight sage or cinnamon smell to it but nothing overpowering. If it does, let me know and we’ll air it out for you.

Do you speak during your massage?:

No. Unless I notice you flinch or stiffen up, then I’ll check in with you to ask you how you’re feeling.

Generally, the massage flow is very meditative and focused on relaxation, and I will often urge you to breathe into particular strokes and will breathe with you.

Will you perform a massage in your birthday suit?:

Nope. I perform the massage barefoot while wearing a t-shirt and shorts.

The reason is simple, my clothes catch my sweat. If I were nude then the combo of oil and sweat would turn your back into an unmanageable ‘slip and slide’. Even during a sensual or erotic massage I wear a t-shirt and shorts, more on that below.

Can I be nude during the massage?:

Absolutely. I always say ‘dress to your level of comfort’. If that’s in your birthday suit or undies, it’s up to you. The flow of the massage I practice works much better when you’re nude as I use long strokes up and down the body. But again, that’s up to you.

Can I  touch you during the session?:

Yes and No. It is a bit distracting being touched while I’m working on you, as your muscles tend to tense up when you make even the slightest movement on the table.

But during a more sensual massage there will be times where mutual touch is appropriate. But, since I’m not an escort, I have my own boundaries as far as where a client can touch me during a session. (It’s not cool if you try to grab my junk during a session, it’s very distracting.)

The best thing for you to do is just sink into the table, breath, and RELAX.

Do you practice ‘erotic massage’? What’s the difference between erotic and sensual massage?:

Kinda sorta. Yes.

Massage in itself inherently sensual. The main difference between ‘erotic’ and ‘sensual’ massage is ‘intent’. Sensual massage is still therapeutic massage, there are just fewer boundaries as how I touch you. On the other hand, ‘Erotic massage’ is in essence ‘sex with a skin polish’.

I fall somewhere in-between, focused on the healing powers of touch. I provide more a sensual session with erotic elements. But those elements vary depending on how well the client and I interact, communicate, and what boundaries our voiced before the session.

I’m not an escort. When requesting a session, given the current state of affairs with Sesta/Fosta, it’s best to not discuss your sexual fantasies with me through text. I always prefer to discuss boundaries face to face.

So are there any reasons why you won’t work on someone?

*If the person is ill or has a fever, or has an obvious skin condition or sunburn. That’s an automatic reschedule.

*If the person has an injury, or a disability that I don’t have proper training to work with. I would try to refer them to someone who can, if possible.

*If the person arrives smelling like a subway train station (at the end of the day) and doesn’t want to quickly shower up. Sorry, that’s a reschedule.

*If the person is being ‘generally unpleasant’ or looks/acts as if they are under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

So basically, please be ‘nice’, and take a shower before the massage.

So, if you’re a legit MT, why do you support abolishing Sesta/Fosta?:

This is part of the current discourse for private MT’s in the US. (https://stopsesta.org) This legislation (Sesta/Fosta) has effectively made it next to impossible for local indie MTs to use inexpensive services like Craigslist to advertise. Lawmakers have lumped all MT’s with untrained male escorts that offer strictly erotic services.

My personal opinion is that it’s none of the government’s business what two consenting adults do behind closed doors. In creating this legislation they have made it difficult and next to impossible for indie MT’s who are still working for their licensing to advertise, obtain and vet new clients, and have a steady stream of income as they continue their education in the field they are being called to.

So while the shenanigans of BackPage was a concern, what the government has done has effectively cut off the advertising and vetting ability of many legit MTs, as well as escorts and sex workers. And yes, they’re people too. And yes, they have a right to work. There are more serious areas of concern that government officials should be attending but aren’t. (I hope we all can agree on that point.)

All Fosta and Sesta does is drive sex traffickers deeper into the Dark Web.

So what’s left for us legit MT’s affected by this? To set up our own web sites and to advertise on sites like RentMasseur and PleaseMasseur, that are owned by companies outside of the US.

It’s a pain man.

How long have you been performing massage?: 

Since 2015. And it’s been a very life affirming experience. 🙂

So what, are you, a new age hippy guru or something?:

Not at all. I’m just a regular guy on a path of learning and health. I’m not a hippy(though I’d be cool with that), I’m not an empath, if you try to chat to me about energy work I’ll just smile and nod.

I believe there’s benefit in meditation, stretching, learning new ‘things’ (to keep the mind going), eating good food, or simply going for a walk and doing something nice for myself.

I promote what I (try) to practice, and by no means do I see myself as being better than anyone else or a guru because of it. 🙂

Brian aka Cuojoe
The Humble MT
(Updated – 08/22/2019)